The missing ending to Psalty's salvation celebration
Psalty sure was in a pickle last we left him. Risky rat had just stolen his case of porno mags. In search of his stach of his literature version of a golden shower, Psalty took the kids (who were still bound by contract-- i mean their love for god to help their captor-- i mean friend) to help him find the TRICK-AY mother fucker. Wouldn't you know it though, the natives their enjoy eating song books. To make matters worse, the kids realized how ridiculous all of this seemed, and bailed on Psalty to rethink their lives (that and they needed to milk their chickens back at home). Needless to say, Psalty was none too happy about the fact he was going to become the main course to a dinner to people who probably didn't even like to sing Christian songs! This, in fact, infuriated him. So much so that he decided to swing himself to the point that the rope holding him over the pot, which the natives would cook him in when it was ready, would snap! After following through on this fairly unlikely to work plan, Psalty decided to get the fuck out of dodge, abandon his porn and return to America, leaving the natives to starve to death thus leaving the audience wondering "why am I even watching this?". One parting the red sea joke to conveniently get Psalty home later..... Once PeeSalttea returned home, he remembered and exclaimed "OH SHIT! I FORGOT MY PORN! RIIIISSSSKYYY"! Psalty was as sexually frustrated as a Chris chan by this point. He was desperate to find his precious stash of pictures you'd most likely find without the safe search on when browsing on google. However, as much as he'd like to get himself off, he knew he'd need a plan to get his things back. He figured that the kids wouldn't be any help since they're still mentally unstable after taking in what their life has been like so far. Then, he came up with a brilliant, yet awful idea... "I'll get my best friends to form a possie with me!" he decided. One search through the bathroom and a phone call later.... "Ok, are we all here?" Psalty questioned In front of him stood a guy wearing clothes not unlike those of the nostalgia critic and a bar of soap on the table. "Let's see.. John's here, and so is senor ice cream bar.. but where's sg"?! "He said he couldn't make it after i went to get him" john explained. "You see, he cheated on himself with his girlfriend Clare and well--" Psalty the interrupted John with a snarky comment, "you nerds watch The Room WAAAAY too much. Oh well." Psalty said with a shrug. "We have enough people to follow the plan through with anyways". "What exactly IS this plan you kept takling about on the phone anyways? What, are we going to takeover mola--" Psalty then slapped John. "NO you pinhead! We're going to find Risky Rat, take my porno mags back, and then push the bastard off a cliff whereever he may be in Africa!" Psalty proclaimed proudly. "...I'm not even goint to TRY and explain how dumb this plan is, since i'm very happy right now, and must do nice things. Like ironing the underwear of friends-- actually i'll just help you with your ridiculous plan instead." John plainly stated. "GOOD! Now, off to Africa!" One transition later.... "Well, that didn'l work out the way i had hoped". Psalty and john, bloody and beaten had just gotten back from Africa. Psalty was frustrated (both sexually and over the complete and utter failure of their plan) while John was crying over the fact that Senor ice cream bar, their greatest companion didn't survive the trip. You see, because of their brilliant leader's idea to NOT bring guns with them when facing the natives, John broke his leg Psalty nearly lost an arm, and Senor ice cream bar met a terrible end acting as a distraction to save the lives of his 2 friends(?). This left John depressed and upset. They never even got to push Risky of that cliff. Needless to say, it was funny as hell to the writer who imagined this stuff. Psalty then saw Risky walking outside his house. He then yelled "HEY RISKY! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY COPIES OF "PLAY BOOK"!?". Risky then went on to explain, "OH. I selled them to the locals who lived in those tribes. They were very hungry after all." Risky then pointed at Psalty, laughed and walked off. Psalty was quite livid at this point. "That's it! I'm just going to the library to get more! WHile I do that, John, get out of my house!" Psalty then got up, furious at the world and left. John decided that he was also sick of this story and went on his way home (he also wanted to make a proper grave for Senor ice cream bar in his bathtub, and then invite Ren to the funeral). Then the authro of this story became sickened by the fact he spent about half an hour thinking this crap up, and then proceeding to write a ridiculous story about it. He turned off his computer, and then decided to go on a walk. Whilst on this walk, he heard a song book furiously masturbating in a house nearby and thought to himself "and this is why some people prefer to worship Celestia over God." THE END. P.S. Christ did I really just type all of this up. I mean, seriously? Damn. Section heading Write the second section of your page here.